Vision Coach
Empowering you to realize your vision to enjoy your most authentic life!
Can An Attitude Of Gratitude Help You In Your Worst Times?
Can an attitude of gratitude help you in your worst times especially when you feel defeated and worn down by life? Have you ever heard of the importance of having an attitude of gratitude when you are going through trials? It can be thrown around in loose terms of “just be grateful for what you have” say when you are going through a financial hardship. Really? Even then? How does this even make sense you think? Or be grateful for the “rest of your health” when you are experiencing cancer or some other health crisis. Or better yet Thank God during these times because He is using it FOR you. How does this make sense when you are suffering?
Through my own life experiences gratitude is never my first choice! It is usually a process that tends to happen over time. My first reaction when I get hit with a problem is wondering how am I going to cope with what is happening. Having tools in your toolbox is the key to deal with life’s ups and downs. The first reaction is usually “not this, not now”! I tend to want it to go away and not deal at all. (Tried that in my youth and it doesn’t work!) My approach is this feel, deal and heal! So I allow myself to process whatever feelings are coming up about what I am dealing with which is so important to getting through it. If you don’t allow those feelings to come up they choose the worst times to reappear! The first action step is to feel whatever you are going through! Use your emotions as a barometer of where you are at mentally. This does not mean react rather observe how you are feeling to give yourself more information.
The next action step for me is to “deal”. This is where you get into the solution part of the problem at hand. You can plan, write, make phone calls, physically take care of yourself so your mental state is on point to deal with what is on hand. Most important for me is my faith and prayer. That is something I do daily no matter what is happening good or bad. You do everything you can to solve what you can and leave the rest in God’s hands. Sometimes you may not be able to personally solve what is happening so even waiting is an action step. You are waiting for more information or time for the issue to be worked out that could not have happened otherwise. Whatever the case you give it your all to deal with it according to what is in your control! Remember, you cannot change people, your past or certain circumstances. You can change what you have the ability to change which is usually yourself and how you react to the situation!
Lastly, you are at the place to heal. This is self care at it’s finest and where gratitude really can help raise your vibrations. You can actually be at a place where you can be grateful for the problem because it is a learning opportunity. My biggest mistakes have had the most impact on me in my life. When I start thinking about what I am grateful for, rather than what is happening to me, it literally makes me feel better. It lifts my spirits where I start to feel joy for the gifts I have been given. It is scientifically proven that we can raise our vibration when we are in this state of mind which means you can attract more of the same energy to you! Try it! I have made myself a gratitude practice where everyday I think of things I am grateful for, so when those harder times hit, I have this to fall back onto without struggling to think about it. By doing this practice, I feel like I am ready to start my day with all good energy creating good vibes all around me. It is an amazing feeling.
Ask yourself what am I grateful for? Start with the love and support of the people in your life. Maybe its your faith or simple things like a roof over your head and running water. We are so blessed in so many ways yet we can get overshadowed by our problems at times. However, that the struggle is where you grow the most! I tell myself that diamonds are built from extreme pressure in the process. This is the same thing that can happen with each and everyone of us. We can use the struggle for the good and take it a step further and be grateful for the struggle! This attitude of gratitude will grow on you the more you practice it and you will be the one who reaps the biggest rewards!
Something to think about:
Do I have a gratitude practice in my life? Is there a time that would work best to do this?
Affirmations:
An attitude of gratitude will make me feel good. I am grateful for the awareness that my struggle will serve me in some way. I am a work in progress. I may not be perfect at gratitude but can start the day over filled with this in mind when I choose. I can deal, feel and heal from my trials. I am grateful for all the little things in my life. It is up to me to change my mindset. Progress not perfection. I appreciate myself for all that I have learned over the years. I will continue to use gratitude throughout my day. Gratitude helps me feel good!
How To Cope When Life Isn’t Going Your Way
How do you cope when life isn’t going your way? It is easier to feel on fire for your life when things are falling into place such as the relationship you want, having the money you need, having a great career, feeling healthy, you have a loving family etc. Sooner or later we all hit those roadblocks in our lives that we must face no matter how painful because life has ups and downs. What then? How do you handle these situations that can feel all consuming. It is like they are on autoplay in the background of your mind as you are out in the world living your life. The good news is you don’t have to stay stuck!
I recently heard that how you see your trials is how you will go through your trials. If you have a fear based mind, that is how you will go through that situation, full of fear. If you have a faith based mindset then you will see your trials through the eyes of faith. Why is this so important? It boils down to how it makes you feel as you walk through it! We all have fear to some degree but if your attitude is one that only sees doom and gloom think about how weighed down you are going to feel. The opposite is true for faith. If you see things working out to your highest and greatest good for all and have faith that this is temporary then you feel uplifted even in the eye of the storm. There are three things that make a positive impact when troubled times come to help you cope. 1. Attitude. 2. Self Talk and 3. Faith.
Let’s start with attitude. Choosing my attitude from the moment I open my eyes makes the world of difference for me. My human side will try to protect me from the situation by using worry as a form of control. The thing is worry will only put you further into the problem and less of the solution. This is where I have to catch those thoughts by choosing my focus. Am I going to focus on the problem or am I going to focus on the solution. Where your mind goes, GROWS! The most important part of choosing my attitude is it makes me feel better. I also am putting positive energy out into the universe which is contagious. It helps me attract more uplifting energy back. Start your morning with an attitude that says this is a new day filled with endless possibilities!
Next, is your self talk. Being able to observe the words you tell yourself is critical to how you handle life. Witness the way you speak to yourself, about yourself. Take time to listen to what you say to yourself on a daily basis. We tend to be our own worst critics. Beating yourself up for something you did or didn’t do will not help the problem be solved. As a matter of fact, it may delay the solution or keep you stuck. When you speak to yourself in a kind and compassionate way your energy raises. You feel encouraged to do whatever necessary action you need to take. Just like you can feel people’s positive energy you can also feel your own. Be your own best friend rather than own your worst enemy. I promise you this is the best gift you could give yourself and you will be far more motivated to deal with your life’s situation.
Finally, keeping the faith. Without faith there is not hope of problems working out. It just seems like nothing will get better. However, scripture tells us “God works all things together for the good”. It is through adversity that faith is built. For me, each season of my life that was difficult I was lead through it by God’s grace. I can look back to see how much I have grown in character and faith in each situation. I encourage you to go to that place that brings you peace and spend some time in stillness. In our busy world of “to do’s” this may seem counter productive but is actually where you can find the solution. When you are filled with hope and peace the answers seem to follow.
Life doesn’t always go the way we planned it but it can also offer surprises you never saw coming. In one instance something can change your entire circumstances! That relationship you wanted appears out of nowhere, the promotion you wanted happens, the money you needed comes through or the illness you had gets cured etc. You just never know what life has in store! Knowing this is just temporary and will pass can help you choose your attitude and improve your self talk all while keeping the faith. You will reap the rewards by embracing these three life changing steps and amaze yourself by seeing you are so much stronger then you think! Literally! Take those thoughts captive. Choose even one of these strategies then watch the miracles unfold.
Thought for the day:
Do I need to look at my own attitude, self talk or faith to improve my life circumstances?
Affirmations to think about:
Everyday I choose to be positive. My attitude is key to my happiness. Things work out better than expected. I try my best. I am being divinely guided. I am keeping the faith things are working out to my highest good. This too shall pass. I am a work in progress. Even if I make a mistake I can begin again. I love myself for trying. I have what it takes. I will not give up. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
What Does It Mean To Be True To Yourself?
You may hear the term “to be true to yourself” but what exactly does that mean? Sometimes to unpack what it means “to be true to yourself” it may be easier to recognize what it means to NOT be true to yourself! I have learned some of these lessons the hard way. All because I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or have confrontation for example. I would compromise my own needs to please another. Can you relate? I would do things I really didn’t want to do and not stand up for myself. By not saying something I am really dishonoring my needs. I would not say no or listen to my own intuition. I would people please or wonder what others thought of me. I would take on more then my share then be angry that no-one recognized what I did. I became victimized by these type of situations fearing rejection, disapproval and not being good enough.
Sometimes trying to be true to yourself masks itself with other things that look like you are determined and passionate. It can show up as perfectionism! You are running around trying your best to get everything done to the best of your ability yet you feel that you can’t keep up. Why? Because perfectionism is you giving yourself an unattainable goal to live up to leaving you feeling unsatisfied with all of your efforts. This does not leave very much room to live a well balanced fulfilled life. It keeps you stuck in a vicious cycle thinking you are making headway yet keep falling short.
So what it really means to be true to yourself is to listen to your God given intuition! This is one of the most common ways we are NOT true to ourselves because we can make excuses for why shouldn’t move in that direction. We don’t heed the warning of red flags rather we justify them. The reason we do this is because it takes work to be brave enough to face what is uncomfortable to address. However, think about the work it takes when we are “not being true to ourselves” by doing what we don’t want to do! Who suffers? Not them! You!
I cannot stress to you enough the gift you receive each time you love and honor yourself! You get the satisfaction of NOT being resentful, frustrated and worn out from not listening to what works for you. In the long run you do end up hurting yourself. What is crazy is you are the person you spend the most time with so why not listen to what it is you need? Part of the process of listening to yourself is being kind to yourself along the way. The mind will want to go back to what it knows but the effort on your end is to respect yourself enough to listen. It is so worth it because you will reap the benefits.
Living your most authentic life is what “being true to yourself” is all about! It requires you to encourage yourself to follow your own core values. This means you may be uncomfortable along the way. Don’t give up! You deserve to enjoy your life! The more you practice this the more comfortable you will get. Soon it will be a natural way of living and you will ask yourself “why didn’t I listen to myself sooner?” By us being who we are naturally meant to be serves everyone around us. They are not getting mixed messages rather we are sending clear direction on how to treat us. We teach those in our lives what to expect from us by respecting ourselves.
My hope is that you have a better understanding of what it means “to be true to yourself”. It is not just a phrase rather a way of living where we can have our needs met and live peacefully with ourselves. As you build on this over the years, you can find contentment within, knowing you are worthy of listening to what is important to you. This is a priceless gift you are giving to yourself and all of those who know you.
Something to think about:
Do I listen to what I want and need? Am I being true to myself?
Affirming thoughts:
I listen to to myself. I honor what is important to me. It is ok to set boundaries. I give myself permission to fulfill my needs. I am strong. It feels good to be true to myself. I am better off listening to myself then ignoring my feelings. I reap the benefits by being true to myself. I am deserving. Everything is working out to my highest and greatest good. To thine own self be true.
Who Do You Share Your “Happiness” With?
Recently, I was thinking about what a gift it is to be able to share your happiness with someone. We all need to know there is someone in our corner who has our back no matter what! When you think of those people it is usually those that have helped you in tough times or simply have supported you through different seasons of your life you may have gone through. We need those people who see us in our most vulnerable times and don’t judge us but rather love us unconditionally. They validate our suffering and help find solutions to our problems. They could be family or friends or a mentor but somehow you have a knowing you can trust them. It is also reciprocated by you because of the bonding you share.
When you have a true relationship that you value it is equally important to be able to share your good times with that person too! To share your joy! This inner joy that wells up is so special to feel. We all are made of energy so when we feel this inner happiness we are actually vibrating at the highest levels. In other words, the energy that we our putting out to others is able to be felt. When we are in this joyful zone we can transmit this unseen energy to those around us. It is contagious!
Interestingly enough, I recently met someone special in my life, yet I had not told the group of women I was around, at that time. Someone said to me they could feel how happy I was! Imagine that?! I never said anything to anyone yet my own energy affected them. Not to mention once I did spill the beans two of the women said they have chills! Right there is how our energy is noticeable and can impact others. So my happiness rubbed off on them in a great way! Plus, these were women whom I love and trust have my best interest at heart. They were happy for me! What an amazing feeling for all of us!
It is a blessing to be able to share this with others because it makes you feel good too! To have that person or people in your life that you know will be happy for you too is a win win! In todays world, where people can be easily distracted or caught up in themselves it is priceless to have these relationships in your life. These are the folks you need to cherish because they are there for you for the good times and the bad. Taking time to thank those people for being there for you will also make you feel good as well as them. I know exactly who I can count on to be be happy for me! Do you?
Something to think about:
Who do I want to share my happiness with?
Affirming Message:
It is a gift to share my joy with another. I treat others how I want to be treated. It is a blessing to have people in my life that I can count on. I am grateful for my friendships. I am deserving of good things. Sharing my good news makes me and the other person feel good. I am happy. I am grateful.
What Does It Really Mean To “Take Care Of Yourself”?
What does it mean to really take care of yourself in this world today? Life can be so busy! You go along doing your daily routine not really thinking about yourself rather all the tasks at hand. Then it hits you! You realize you need a break from it all but how do you do this? We may get our hair or nails done or book a massage or vacation for starters. We may go for a walk in nature or set out for an adventure. This can certainly help release some stress in your world and allow you to come back to your everyday more recharged. I am talking about going even deeper than that.
The kind of taking care of yourself that matters the most is the kind that allows you to be authentically you! This is where you are being true to yourself and honoring what is important to you without ignoring what you need. Now that is the harder thing to do yet the most rewarding because living with the consequences of doing something you don’t want to do is worse. Some examples that may resonate with you are saying no to an invitation that your gut is saying you don’t want to do or speaking up for yourself rather than squashing your voice thinking it won’t matter anyway. Another example, is setting a boundary when necessary with someone who is taking advantage of your good nature. In any of these scenarios, the reason it makes it so difficult to do is because you fear the outcome.
It is harder to take care of your needs when you risk having to be “uncomfortable” with another because it may cause conflict. That right there is ours to own! This is what taking care of yourself is really about! Honoring what you want for your own life matters! Listening to yourself is one of the best gifts you could give to yourself. Your God given instincts, your body and your spirit will all guide you to what feels right within your soul and what doesn’t. Once you discover what that is for yourself then you can take the appropriate action to take care of yourself.
The first part is about being aware of what you need in the first place to be true to yourself. The second part is about learning how to tackle the “discomfort” of allowing yourself the space to do this but how? Recognizing your own self talk is critical at this point! You may want to give in or say forget it it’s not a big deal. The truth is it is a big deal because if you don’t listen to yourself you are compromising your own integrity. You deserve to give yourself what you need. You are not responsible for the way another responds to it but you are responsible with how you respond to it. Your self talk needs to be supportive allowing the space for necessary change to happen. Pay attention to this especially when going through a challenging time because it is a catalyst to taking care of yourself. By combining a well needed break with positive self talk you will be so proud of yourself for respecting yourself enough to honor what is important to you! To put it in perspective, imagine how you would feel if you don’t?
Something to think about:
Is there something I can do to take better care of myself?
Affirming thoughts:
My needs matter. It is ok to allow myself what I need to take care of myself. I give myself permission to take a break. I will be better for it when I return. I set boundaries that preserve my own sanity. I speak up for what is important to me. I honor how I feel. I support myself with my own positive self talk. Everything works out to my highest and greatest good. I respect myself enough to listen to myself.
Vision Coach 